Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.
brandinsbabe

  • Mood:

woo hoo

so its day 2 of suicide watch apparently. Marcia the hall director calls me today asking if i could meet with her about how i am doing. shes like are you ok and stff. lol this is rediculous. So Josh told her anyways. I knew i just wanted to keep it in that wonderful moment of me just loving him. and now....

i cant believe everyone. its like fucked up to the max. i wish i was still in high school where things like this dont count, and nobody knows or cares. it was so beautiful back then. the lack of interest. I wish i could be normal too. boring like everyone else. then maybe these constant thoughts of death wouldnt even run through my mind at all. i just wanna be boring like everyone else.

i wish i could leave. right now, just pick up all my things and leave and get away from all these people. i wanted to last night. i just need a place to go and i'll be there, away from all of this. i need a place so bad cause i cant deal with this. i really cant. and i can lie to everyone and tell them i am ok, which is what it seems i have to do from now on cause then there will be people breathing down my back 24 hours. i just dont have the strength for it all. and i dont wanna be here anymore, dealing with this crap. i just wanna go far away.
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