Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.
brandinsbabe

  • Mood:

fuck this school and fuck the world

wow, that was almost one of the most obnoxious things i had to deal with. I wish i never had to go back again. Counceling in this school is rediculous. I cant even explain teh shit that went on but by the end of it i was so mad i thought i was gonna punch my hand through the wall. thank god i saw andrea afterwards cause i really would have.

so i told my therapist more then i wanted to anyways, just lied a little casue then little old csilla here would be put in a psychiatric facility. ha like thats ever gonna happen. she was so like wanting me to say something so she could call the right people and send me there. So i dunno. then she told me the residence hall directore which is marcia, called the counceling center the other day and wanted to know if they should take me to the hospital. this shit keeps getting better and better. and then she asks me if i would sign a release to the residence halls for her to talk to them and i just flipped out. i started yelling about how i hate them and i never want to see them again and all that shit. so finally i was like fine i'll do whatever, just get them off my back. and she was like well how do we know your not gonna try to kill yourself again. she was like it looks like nothing is going to stop you and i'm like "yup thats what i have been trying to tell everyone that no matter what they do, if i want to kill myself i will" and i told her that honestly i was so mad and fed up right now and so sick and tired of life that i wasnt even gonna bother. i was just gonna go with the flow and let whatever happen happen. so i signed teh stupid thing and told her i was gonna come back next week not casue i wanted to but just to make everyone happy. and then she tells me that the residence halls might not let me live here next year and i was like oh great that makes me feel happy and more secure and not want to hurt myself even more. and shes like sorry. and then she asks me if she can see it. i'm like why does everyone want to see it? why cant people mind their own business and i told her no way. and shes like well you showed me last time and i told her that i didnt feel like it. then she gets all into how seriosu this is and blah blah and i'm like i know, i understand how you and josh and andrea must feel but i cant sympathize because i dont care.

so whatever. that was that. then i did nothign for the rest of the day cause thats all i am gonna do. i talked to josh about all this and he was soooo good about it. it was really good to talk to him although i think he is still worried cause of my i dont care attitude. i hope that passes and he just stops worrying about it. I asked him to talk to Marcia tomorrow about stuff so i know whats going on cause everyday worse shit starts poppin up. so yeah, that was this glorious day.

tomorrow should be even more fun...
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