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Operation this-will-most-likely-end-badly is a go!
a really hot geek
omg this weeks are so good!! 
21st-Nov-2008 07:37 pm
it's been a while so i thought id post some of these from overheardinnewyork.com

Snobby woman to teenage girls talking: Decrescendo, girls. Do you know what that means? It's an operatic term for "lower your voices."
Teenage girl: Actually, "decrescendo" is a musical term for "get softer," and when you say get lower, you're actually referring to pitch, not volume.

--Metropolitan Opera Lobby

(cabbie cuts bus off, both cab and bus are stopped at traffic light. Bus driver opens his window)
Bus driver: I'm gonna hit one of you! You know, it's my goal to hit one of you people before I retire, it really is--you almost just made it happen! You people gotta learn someday! (turns to passenger) We're allowed one accident per year. I'm saving all of mine for that.

--M15 Bus to South Ferry

English professor: So who here is eligible to vote but isn't?
(student raises hand)
English professor: Why aren't you voting?
Ditzy Asian girl: I dunno... I just don't know who to vote for.
English professor: But...they're so different. They're like chocolate ice cream and...gravel.

--Hunter College

Grandpa: Do we really have to take them to the fucking zoo?
Grandma (holding a pamphlet about the zoo): Look, this is the stupid shit that they're into, so this is where we gotta go.
Grandpa (pointing to a picture in the pamphlet): What the fuck is that? A chipmunk?
Grandma: It's a fucking rabbit!

--St. Mark's Place, Staten Island

Conductor: Hey, partner, can we go? (static) We can't? Why the heck not? Hey, moron, get your ass in here! You're holding up a bunch of wonderful people! Wonderful New York commuters who don't need this kind of fucking bullshit at 3 on a Friday afternoon! (static) Yes, you! Keep pointing at yourself and my answer will keep being... Yes, it's you! Goddammit, get in the fucking train! I hate dealing with this! (long pause) You know what, make a decision: either cram your Rosie O'Donnell ass in or get the fuck out! Oh, look, he's in! (slow, sarcastic applause) Partner, we can bounce up on out of here now.

--1 Train

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, for the next 250 years there will be track work on weekends. Don't say that no one told you.


Conductor: If you don't fit on this train kindly wait for the next B. (doors close) That was excellent, ladies and gentlemen, if you keep this up, we'll all be home really soon.

--B Train

Conductor, looking forward to the end of his shift: All right folks, this is your 6:07 train to New Haven stopping at 125th, then express to Stamford. We're off... (makes clippy-clop noises) Neeiiigghh!

--Metro-North Train

Conductor: This is 125th Street, may the force be with you, next stop 86th Street.

--4 Train

Conductor, after train goes through stop: Whoops! My bad. My bad.

--G Train
Felix- to the left
22nd-Nov-2008 12:59 am (UTC)
Conductor, looking forward to the end of his shift: All right folks, this is your 6:07 train to New Haven stopping at 125th, then express to Stamford. We're off... (makes clippy-clop noises) Neeiiigghh!

22nd-Nov-2008 01:10 am (UTC)
LOL i always hope i'll hear one of these one day heh
22nd-Nov-2008 01:03 am (UTC)

Re: The first one. You have no idea how often I wish I could scream at some of the snobby old people at Symphony concerts who know fuck all about music and are just there to be seen and be rude to young people. No, I didn't put on an evening gown to come to this concert. I'm dressed like I always dress because I left the practice room, got on the subway here, and bought a $15 sutdent rush ticket because I like this stuff and it's relevant to my education. If you have a problem with the fact that I'm not 50 years old, rich and pretentious, then you can go to hell!

If only the arts didn't need their money... More public funding for the arts means less snobby people at events!
22nd-Nov-2008 01:09 am (UTC)
HELL YES! i know what you mean. i went to a performing arts high school and it was right across the street from Lincoln Center. When we would practice on the weekends the snotty people would be around for concerts and would look at us like we were scum.
22nd-Nov-2008 01:15 am (UTC)
22nd-Nov-2008 01:35 am (UTC)
I KNOW!! people are so ridiculous!! :D :D :D
22nd-Nov-2008 01:31 am (UTC)
I thought number one was the toppest! But two....*bows* he must be planning one HECK of an accident! LOL!
22nd-Nov-2008 01:35 am (UTC)
i really love the one with the grandparents LOL
22nd-Nov-2008 02:03 am (UTC)
the grandparents/zoo one, ohmygosh!! i LOL. seriously!! my grandparents never talked like tht!!
22nd-Nov-2008 02:38 am (UTC)
The "oops my bad" made me fucking LOL
22nd-Nov-2008 02:42 am (UTC)
*dies* I love that last one.
22nd-Nov-2008 04:34 am (UTC)
But...they're so different. They're like chocolate ice cream and...gravel.
I read that at work yesterday, and couldn't stop laughing for at least 5 minutes!! HILARIOUS!!
22nd-Nov-2008 05:14 am (UTC)
hehehe i know right!? LOL
22nd-Nov-2008 07:56 am (UTC)
I LOVE the last one!!!
22nd-Nov-2008 07:21 pm (UTC)

Why is the G train such a freaking mess? Seriously, once it actually just showed up... at an F stop. And the conductor was like, "Ummm, I guess we made a wrong turn?" Seriously, WTF.

And the 1... the problem with the 1 train is that people won't move into the fucking car. The middle is totally empty, but everyinte stands by the door. I hate the 1 with the fire of a thousand suns. I love the 4. Love.

And about the track work for the next 250 years... so it's weird. Like, I KNOW it's true, but it's easy to be in denial. And it does change from weekend to weekend what line is being worked on. So I still reserve the right to be fucking pissed off when there is trackwork on the 4/5/6. Or on the 1/2/3. Why can't they post this shit on a Thursday? JUST POST IT!

Me + MTA = very passionate love/hate relationship. This post got me all riled up. Keep up the good work! I lvoe it. I need to subscribe to this website. Like, right this monite *goes off to do so*
22nd-Nov-2008 07:26 pm (UTC)
stupid MTA. and now they are raising the prices as well WTF is that!

250 YEARS!!!! seriously!! it's so ridiculous but completely true!

so you live in NYC then?! :D
22nd-Nov-2008 08:01 pm (UTC)
Born, bred and obsessed. 26 years. Now I'm doing two years in Boston as penance, apparently. Hate it here. Miss home. D:

I could rant about a quarter century of subway stories, but I will spare you. Plus, have to do homework. :)

All I will say, though is the best is when the 2 is running on the 5 line and the 5 is runnng on the 2 line, and WTF, in the Bronx they run on THE SAME FUCKING LINE, so why can't they just have the trains make their own routes? Psycho!
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