Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.

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today just seems very dead. everything seems to be in confusion. I am slowly trying to sort things out in my head. I dont want things to be easy, i just dont want them to be this ridiculously hard. i dont mean to hurt anybody ever, yet it seems that one way or another i always do.

Andrea and i dropped of our application for our apartment today. the lady said we had a 98% chance of getting it. she recommended another place to us just in case this fell through. Its just as close to school though so that should be good.

Tomorrow i go home. the fear is hanging over me. In my head i am trying to avoid it. i am going through all other options. I just cant be home from tomorrow to next sunday. this is the wrong time for this. its like everytime i am starting to feel better, something has to kill it. i try not to let it get to me but sometimes i just cant help it. i try not to let a lot of things get to me, but sometimes there is nothing i can do. i'm not perfect. i wish i was.

i wonder where everyone is today. its like the whole world decided to disappear and didnt bother telling me where they were going. always left behind. but it seems to be ok these days. I'm not sad, i am not upset, i am just here, getting through the day. i just want everything to work out.

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