Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.

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hehe...i cried myself to sleep again. that seems to be working wonders. i just wish it wasnt under these circumstances. i feel better and more levelheaded though, cause before i just went off on myself and that probably just made it worse. But now i know the arguement Vito and i had was my fault. i was cranky and frustrated and upset, and i took it out on him which is what i promised myself i wouldnt do before i went to lunch with him. and thats exactly what i did. and i hurt him so much and that is the last thing i wanted to do. i always seem to ruin everything perfect in my life. why would i do that to him?

and now i just want to talk to him, but he wants to cool off, which was what i wanted to do too, but i cant stand people being mad at me. And thats not even the case here. hes mad at me and he has every right to be, i just want to tell him how sorry i am.

so i am sitting here trying to just think about this rationally, and not cut, and not smoke pot, and not try to escape it. i just need to deal with it. so i am gonna study for math, cause i need to do good on the test tomorrow no matter what, and i am gonna look for apartments and not complain about it cause that is so silly of me. and then i am gonna go to bed, and go to class tomorrow, and see him, and just hope that he feels better.

oh, and mary is a two faced bitch. but i dont wanna get into that right now :(

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